The reasons why humans want to be socially accepted and belong.
Human beings are social in nature. Since the first steps of existence, human beings are relying on others to live, to be taken care of, and to have emotional attachment. Such a reliance does not fade away as people become older. As an alternative, it develops into profound psychological desire to be accepted, a part of something bigger and a social life. The need to belong, to be appreciated and to be comprehended, is among the most influential determinants of human activity. Be it in the family, friends, workplace or even community, individuals always find ways of seeking some form of indications that they are accepted and valued.
This is the need to belong that came as a result of the evolution of man. Early human beings lived in colonies. The survival alone implied being exposed to predators, starvation and danger. Acceptance of an individual by a group raised chances of survival. The human brain got programmed to consider social connection as a necessity over time. A society in modern society where survival is not based on small communities does not mean that the brain will not react highly to social inclusion or exclusion. Acceptance feels rewarding. Rejection feels painful
Social acceptance gives a feeling of security. When one is accepted then he or she feels safe in the world. They are convinced that they can be supported in case of difficulties. This feeling of security eliminates stress and anxiety. It enables people to communicate more, to be more open and to interact with other people. People may always be unpredictable, closed off, and anxious, without acceptance.
Identity is also determined by belonging. The groups individuals belong to play a big part in influencing much of their perception of themselves. Self-perception is a factor of family background, cultural community, peer groups, and social circles. Human beings tend to embrace values, behaviors and beliefs that suit their social set up. This is not necessarily done on a conscious basis. It is a natural process of human adaptation to fit in. Approval of a group of behavior causes those behaviors to repeat.
This process is significant in the emotional brain. A brain is exposed to chemicals related to pleasure and contentment when individuals get positive social or interpersonal feedback, which may be praise, smiles, or inclusion. Such rewards within the individual strengthen social behavior. In the course of time, people gain an understanding of the behaviors that can result in acceptance and the behaviors that can expose one to the risk of rejection. This is learning that defines character and social behavior.
The fear of being rejected is deeply connected with the need to be accepted. Denial poses a risk to the belongingness of a person. The minor incidences of being left out or ignored can be very emotional. Individuals can be sad, embarrassed, angry or ashamed. These reactions do not show any sign of weakness. They are instinctive reactions that are based on the primitive survival mechanisms of the brain.
Due to the importance of acceptance, individuals would at times conceal certain aspects of their being in order to be accepted. They can suppress views, alter behavior or evade expression of real emotions. Although this may bring short term acceptance, it may also cause internal conflict. Whenever people always showcase a version of themselves that is not genuine, they could feel lonely even when people are around them.
Being a part of something is not necessarily to be in the presence of people. It is being understood and appreciated. Having numerous social contacts, a person may still feel isolated. The real belonging is connected with emotional touch, mutual respect and feeling of understanding.
Belonging is challenged in the modern society. The social media subjects individuals to continuous comparison. People observe filtered photos of the lives of other people and can experience the lack of adequacy. The communication that goes on online may give the illusion of relationship without any serious emotional attachments. As much as technology enables people to remain connected, technology never fulfils the need of meaningful relationships.
Belonging is also an influence of cultural background. Certain cultures attach importance to the communal and group identity. Others focus on individual autonomy. The fundamental requirement of acceptance is universal in spite of these differences.
The sense of belonging has strong effects on decision-making. Individuals can make decisions about some of their professional paths, hobbies, or even life patterns depending on what is acceptable in the social groups. In particular, peer pressure is formidable in teenage years, when identity is yet to be established. Nevertheless, the impact of social influence persists even during adulthood.
The normal state of psychological and emotional being is supported by healthy belonging. When people feel acknowledged, they are better regulated emotionally and their self-esteem is increased. They are stronger than they are when times are rough. They find it easier to find assistance and show that they are vulnerable.
Lack of belongingness needs may be the cause of loneliness, anxiety and depression. Isolation can push one to the point where they become even more isolated, and the cycle becomes hard to take off. The significance of belonging allows one to understand the fact that social connection is no luxury. It is some psychological necessity.
The motivation behind the desire of the human being to be socially accepted enables individuals to have pity on themselves and others. It gives the reason that the social experiences are so important and the reason why rejection is such a painful experience. It also emphasizes the necessity to develop accommodative settings in which individuals feel comfortable to be themselves.
Belonging does not concern being part of any group. It is relating to the need to find places where one is accepted since being human means to be connected.